Buttermilk with a pinch of sarcasm

When life gave lemons, Beyonce made  ‪#‎Lemonade‬. Lets take some inspiration and make some buttermilk, with a pinch of sarcasm, shall we?

I have always been immensely impressed by and slightly jealous of overnight internet stars. ‪#‎DamnDaniel‬ being a case in point. Surely each of us must have some semblance of a skill thats internet-worthy, other than doing it ‪#‎KimKardashian‬ style that is. One good bet is taking the culinary route – pictures of mouth watering home-made food on social media, along with elegant recipes are a safe and steady bet towards internet mini-celebrityhood. Sadly I have no talent in this space but having gotten tired of brooding over it, I decided to leverage my Masters degree in Chemistry to make a concoction and fine-tune it with presentation skills from MBA. So what if there was no discernible content, that powerpoint can still look fabulous and delude the reader into believing that there just MAY be something noteworthy in that left aligned text and eye-popping bar charts – especially if one can use the laser pointer appropriately, voice modulate masterfully and be momentarily convinced of the output oneself, to deliver it with a straight face.

With these as guiding principles, here’s my very own creation – “Lemongrass Buttermilk” – a Signature Sunday mocktail ! Here’s how you can create this awesome summer cooler from the comfort of your own home.

Critical Ingredients: Churning instrument, fancy serving glass, photo editing app, swanky resting table, wi-fi, gentle dose of sarcasm**
Other Ingredients: Yoghurt, Water, Salt, Curry leaf powder, Lemongrass powder

Procedure:

  1. Add whatever yoghurt is left in the carton from last week and empty bedside water bottle into a large container. Roughly estimate the proportions and hope it is in the range of 35% buttermilk and 65% water
  2. If not stored in an airtight container, salt apparently lumps up in humid weather. New lesson for the day. Your salt is not going to make it to the finals of the “Tata free-flowing salt” ad campaign, but its fine, no harm done. Throw one very smallish looking lump into the container
  3. Add carefully stored and until-now-unopened-hence-no-idea-how-it-tastes lemongrass powder from recent Cambodia trip (Quantity: Tilt packet, whatever falls is the right amount)
  4. Look for other ingredients that haven’t been used in a while and may be nearing expiry date but can look versatile in the recipe listing. Curry leaf powder that mom sent last time will likely fit the bill. Throw some of this too in the container.
  5. Use churning instrument and mix these till you get bored.
  6.  Transfer contents into a clean swanky wine glass provided by landlord.
  7.  Search the fridge for anything that can add a pop of colour and some dimension such as half a lemon. Force fit this on top of the glass.
  8. Place on swanky table, use atleast one photo editing app, check wi-fi connectivity and serve chilled.
  9. Admire picture, post it on social media, then taste it, throw it in the sink and order proper dinner online or take a cooking course.

**At how presentation has become as important, if not more than quality content in today’s world. WYSI(snotalways)WYG
‪#‎Foodforthought‬ ‪#‎summertimemadness‬

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